Deep Learning

Dear Unconditional Love - I’m exhausted and afraid. Please help me. 

Oh honey, I’m here. I feel your sad. I feel your frustration. I feel your tears. I feel your tension. Today was hard. I’m so sorry. I know you wish things were never hard. And you wish you could control your son because that would make things easier. I get that.

I also know that without the experiences you are having with your son you would have so much less deep learning with him. You’d have deep learning in other ways. But there is no other way to deeply learn about each other without being in relationship with each other.

It’s another certainty of life, learning. Death is certain and learning is certain.

When you do something that you think is wrong, you can think of it as the RIGHT way to learn. You can push and push and push to be perfect babe. But the only learning is in the imperfection.

You’re learning you don’t like maintenance management at work, it’s not motivating or exciting. You’re learning you don’t like your work ethic being questioned. It makes you feel so unseen. It’s these learnings that allow you to see others so deeply.

Right now you’re in a body you don’t recognize so you’re uncomfortable. Imagine how many people need empathy for that. And maybe even without it being perceived on the outside. You have empathy because you’re learning it now. Remember that with Smooshy ok babe? You’re learning. Your mom is right. Next time invite her in. Bedtime is not that serious. But that’s for next time.

Rest how babe. Belly massage. I love you.