Happy Birthday, Honey!
Dear Unconditional Love - What would you have me know today?
Happy Birthday, honey! I love that you sat here knowing how hard today might be. I know you’re looking for every expectation to not be met to prove to you that you have no one, that you’re unseen, alone.
But that’s an old story, my love. Maybe true, maybe not. But it is absolutely not true today.
“Don’t do that” you keep saying to yourself when you notice something that doesn’t fit with your perfectly dreamt up idea of how today will go. It’s ok if you DO do that. Do do - ha! There you go. Laugh a little! Cry a little! Be honest with yourself about how today goes and what you want today.
I’m so proud of you for following those messages right now. Go enjoy your toast with cream cheese, go enjoy those eggs, that massage, your acai bowl, and follow your nose from there babe.
If the rest of the day is shit, think of how the last week has gone. No, that’s not bright-siding or toxic positivity, that’s true. That’s evidence. That’s what you’re always looking for. Hard hitting evidence that shows you a conclusion you’ve already come to.
What if there’s evidence to a new conclusion this year, babe? You don’t have to find what you found in years past. You get to decide what this year is like. You’ve worked so hard to attract the kind of energy you give out, and Lainie confirmed for you Monday that you’ve succeeded. She’s here, your Mommune is here, your Smooshy is here, Drew is here, Luc, Lauren, all of them. People who see you, get you, understand you EVERY OTHER day of the year AND today. Hold that evidence close. It’s true and it means something.
YOU mean something because you ARE. I promise that’s not a trope.
I know you’re aching for Hope to be HERE just like everyone else is. And the reason she isn’t here isn’t because you’ve done anything wrong or you’re not worthy of anything. Her soul chose the path of embryo to fetus to flown. She’s already been to Earthside School before. So she came here for a quick visit to change your life in the way it was already meant to. She’s out there onto another Otherside School, just as you will be when it’s your time. It feels like such a long time to you, but to her it doesn’t. You’ll be together again, don’t you worry.
We’re out here together and we are together, that’s how I know. Just as Smooshy’s time in your womb felt short to you all, your time in this womb feels short for Hope. We’ll be here when it’s your time my love.
Celebrate today, cry today, laugh today, get fries twice today, paint, sleep, watch Friends, whatever feels warm today. I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come to be here. Remember the last week and how it’s felt. Hold that evidence close today. I’ll be right there to hold you through today and this weekend. You’ve done WAY harder shit, my love. We’ve got this.
You being YOU is what makes today exactly what it’s supposed to be. Well that and your parents, mostly your mom =)