It’s OK To Worry
Dear Unconditional Love - What would you have me know today about worrying?
Oh, honey. I feel your worry. It is so heavy. It is so constricting. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. You want to shout, “HAVE YOU EVER LOST A BABY BEFORE?!” to everyone that’s making you feel like this isn’t a big deal.
You were spiraling, and that makes sense. You’re worried losing Hope was your fault, your body’s fault. That you did something wrong. That you didn’t see the signs, eat enough vitamins, drink enough water, anything at all.
I’m here to tell you that Hope dying is not your fault. Your body was doing its job when she arrived and she actually gave your body the instructions and understanding that she would not continue growing past 6 weeks and 1 day. She was in control there, you could not have “saved” her. And saving isn’t really what we can do for people anyways. They are wired with their own instructions and have their own agendas and worries and everything. We really don’t have to worry about that, but we do. You do.
I see you worrying and all I can say is I see you. Your worrying makes sense. I believe you that you’re worried that Smooshy will die from mold from your lack of cleaning your house. I can really see why your rational mind would go there. Notice I said rational mind, not emotional mind. Your rational mind is wired to see reality and make objective conclusions so you feel less threatened. Your brain did that for you today. It gave you a conclusion, and gave you instructions. You jumped into action. Well done, my love. I see you trying so hard to protect your baby, protect your family, so worried someone in your family will die at your hands again.
The thing is, no one has ever, or will ever, die at your hands. Even if you murder someone, that’s what’s meant to be. That sounds satirical, but it’s not. Our souls chose their embodiment journey KNOWING the end, my love. You don’t make the end for anyone and they don’t for you. Your end is already determined. It’s ok to be present here waiting for that. Do whatever planning you feel you need to so your peace of mind is well, at peace.
Otherwise, you can always come back to me if you have any questions about the spiral you’re feeling. I’m here to remind you it makes sense you believe your mind. Your mind is incredible and is there to protect you, mostly.
As Unconditional Love, I’m here to reassure you that you already ARE protected. No matter how much or how little you do. Whether you worry or you don’t. It’s ok to worry. It’s ok to panic. It’s ok to cry. Trust yourself and trust your partner to come together and figure out what’s real and how you both will get through it. You can trust him. I’m so proud of you both.
Great job doing the laundry. It’s ok to sleep in bed tonight. Clean what you need to, wait for Friday. You’ll get the answers you need. And if you lose sleep until then, so be it. There’s plenty more sleep to be had. Mostly when you die… from mold. KIDDING! I love you. Let’s laugh. I’m here. I love you.
I love you. I’m here.