Butterfly Romance
Dear Unconditional Love - What would you have me know today?
Hey, babe. Good to hear from you. I’m here. Your boys are there. What a sweet relationship they have. I know you notice the things your husband does to really try to break the cycles from his family of origin for your son you have together. What do you think of that? I know you wish he were perfect, just like you berate yourself if you’re not. I’m so sorry you’ve been so weighed down by the messages that your worth is your perfection. That shit sucks.
Your husband’s worth is not his perfection, it’s his choice, it’s his presence. Remember when you told Luc about how you knew Drew would choose you no matter what? That meant something then and still means something now. I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come. It’s easy to worry about whether or not you’re in the right place. It’s easy to place blame when you’re feeling uneasy. Pick anything to say, “THAT’S IT. THAT’S THE PROBLEM. IF ONLY THAT WASN’T THE CASE I’D BE FINE.”
But the truth is, even though that’s easy, none of us are fine. Fine in Italian Job is Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. But here’s the catch, I know you don’t want to just be fine either. I get that. It makes sense. You’re trying to determine whether or not it’s your mindset that’s the problem. I’m not sure. Your heart and soul want what they want and you shouldn’t apologize for them or worry about whether or not you should feel a certain way. That won’t get us anywhere.
I know you don’t want to believe that you’re like the women on the pod, but so what if you are? The real advice there was to listen to what you need and make the highest investment in yourself so that you can have a choice when you think you can’t survive with a person and will know you can survive on your own.
I know things are hard right now, don’t blame Drew for that. It’s not his fault. It’s not yours either babe. How do you feel when things are good? When he walks in with flowers and a Valentine’s sign because he knows you care about that and it means a lot to you?
You ARE living in the butterfly romance on TV. The difference is, you’re living it in real life. Soak it up, babe. You deserve it.